Always - Chapter 9 - Severus Snape's Night Out

9-

Severus Snape’s Night Out

As Harry shut the door behind him, bits of fear began creeping up in Snape’s stomach. It was very nearly the same feeling after he’d called Lily a mudblood, the leaden weight in his stomach when she refused to accept his apologies. He used a freshening spell on his clothing, then crossed the room to a mirror, gazing at his reflection. His hair was, as usual, greasy, his nose still oversized and his eyes still black and cold. Why on Earth would Amelia Evans want to have dinner with him? A memory bubbled within him – of Harry kneeling over him, pressing his hand against the worst of his wounds, trying to staunch the bleeding – and he felt bolstered. Harry had forgiven him and saw worth in him. Lily had once found him worth being a friend. Why not at least have a friendship with Amelia? He’d grown in his years of isolation, of being a part of something bigger than himself, of having to make difficult decisions and put the well-being of others over his own. Lily would have admitted he’d matured, wouldn’t she? He went to the lavatory and removed his coat and shirt, then diligently scrubbed his hair, bidding the oil that normally coated his hair to be gone. Three times, he washed his hair, then used a spell to dry it. It hung around his face and still had a more matte shine, but the effect was softer and improved. He scoured his teeth with a toothbrush and paste, paying more attention to his crooked teeth than he ever had before. He felt foolish. She would be no more than a colleague and friend, if that, he thought dejectedly as he fastened his shirt buttons and drew on his frock, fastening the eleven buttons that lined the front.

He glanced over to the timepiece on the mantel and noted the time. 6:45. He gathered his cloak and made his way down into the corridor which led to Gryffindor tower. He stood in the hallway, the paintings there chatting with and about him, calling Snape a noble Slytherin or a misplaced Gryffindor. Pacing back and forth, he stopped before a banister, watching the staircases move. After some time, he checked his pocket watch. 7:15. He felt a ball begin to form in the pit of his stomach. Of course she would have second thoughts or have forgotten about their meeting altogether. He turned, pressing his back against a pillar. Ginny and Harry came out of the portrait, arm in arm. They waved to him as they passed, presumably to head to some quiet place where the two could enjoy each other’s company. He watched students move around the castle, the sick feeling in his stomach growing stronger and stronger. He pulled out his watch again. 7:30.

With a heavy sigh, he turned away from the pillar and began to move towards the fat lady’s portrait.

“Professor Snape!”

He turned to see Amelia hastening towards him. In past days he would have turned back and continued on his way, but the look on her face stopped him from doing so. She was clearly winded and her chestnut hair was disheveled, her cheeks flushed with color.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here! I was afraid you’d have thought I stood you up, being so late.”

“The thought had crossed my mind,” said Snape, a little more icily than he’d intended.

“A staircase moved on me while I was making my way here and I wound up somewhere on the fifth floor and it took me this long to find my way back. I hope you will forgive me.”

Her green eyes gazed up at him and he felt those unwelcome emotions fading away. “Of course, Professor Evans.”

He stood with his hands in his pockets, so she slipped her hand in the crook of his arm. “I was wondering if there was someplace we could go that would be private with a bit of a view.”

Snape remembered hearing about the Room of Requirement but had never attempted to find the place himself. “I know of a place, if we can find it. It’s a hidden room that reveals itself to people in need. It’s where the students hid from me and the Death Eaters who were placed under my command this past year. I didn’t look for it then because I knew it would be safe for them. It’s on the seventh floor. This way. It’s a shortcut.”

Snape lead Amelia through a series of winding corridors and up through a passageway. When they reached the seventh floor, Snape found himself wishing for a place where he and Amelia could enjoy their supper without fear of being interrupted. He was amazed when Amelia stopped him as a door was magically appearing in a blank stone wall. “Severus, look!”

“I believe the castle is being kind to me after the events of May second.”

Snape opened the door and held it while Amelia stepped inside. The inside was decorated in a lovely fashion, elegant and romantic for a couple. It felt a little intimate for Snape, knowing that Amelia would only ever be a friend, if that, to him.

“Severus? Did you do all this?”

“No, I am afraid not. It seems the room furnishes itself for the seekers needs.”

“Well, I agree ... you do need some one on one attention with someone who can appreciate your unique position and experiences. I went down to the kitchen before I came looking for you and explained to one of the house elves down there what a pizza was and how they are prepared. They were most happy to try and make one for us. I popped to the nearest non-wizarding village and was able to procure some ingredients. I do hope you like sausage and mushrooms.”

“It’s been so long since I had anything like it that I honestly can’t tell you what I do like.”

Amelia gazed up at him. “I’m afraid I have a confession to make.”

One eyebrow shot higher than the other as Snape said, “Oh?”

“I didn’t accidentally stumble onto you the other day. I was watching, hoping to catch sight of you.”

“Did you? Whatever for?”

“I remember my mom talking about a brilliant potions student that one of her friends had been teaching. She said Horace had mentioned that he was quite a fantastic potion maker, but he was so quiet and brooding that he didn’t really stand out – at least, in Professor Slughorn’s circle, even though his skill was becoming legendary. After I’d heard about Hogwarts’ potions master, I was positive that you and that student were one in the same. Was I mistaken?”

Snape led her to the romantically draped table, pulling out the chair for her. “No, you are not mistaken. I was a member of the Slug Club, however, Slughorn had very little aspirations for me to becoming influential or powerful, or even liked. I was shuffled off to the back rows of his photograph collection while wizards like Regulus Black, Lily Evans, and even Tom Riddle stood at the ready, favourites all. Handsome, charismatic, charming Tom Riddle, Jr. who was so unlike Severus Snape.”

Amelia didn’t miss the self-depreciating tone in his voice. “You showed them all, didn’t you? Dumbledore’s man to the last?”

“I was ... yes, of course, Dumbledore’s man,” Snape echoed softly. He had become Dumbledore’s man the moment the Dark Lord had targeted Lily. The words, “Severus ... please,” echoed in his head, of when Dumbledore asked of Snape to end his life with dignity and speed.

“Professor McGonagall said you’d had a difficult past few months, but I hope going forward, your life is pleasant and filled with happier things.”

He looked down at her hand pressed against his, then up to her lovely green eyes. He felt himself fixed on her eyes, at how wise and yet, innocent, they were. “My entire existence changed dramatically on the second of May. I went from being the despised usurper of Hogwarts and the murderer of Dumbledore to Dumbledore’s secret weapon against the Dark Lord and protector of Hogwarts. I shudder to think how things would have been if the Carrow siblings had complete control of the school. They were trying to force students to use the Cruciatus curse against their fellows who had earned a detention. It was unfathomable.”

“Indeed. I know at times we may all find ourselves in need of using those unforgivable curses, but only as a final measure.” She tilted her head to the side, as if studying him. “I think there was a person wanting to be a good and desiring of affection and love beneath that stern exterior.”

Snape sat opposite her and gave her the smallest of smiles. “You are quite a skilled Legilimens to have discerned that.”

“Oh, no, I’m not so good as that. I learned to read body language and facial movements when working as a No-maj teacher. We weren’t supposed to mingle with No-majs, but I just couldn’t sit idly by and do nothing. Being originally from England, the American strictures were just too rigid. My father being a muggle made it impossible for me to not mingle with them.”

Just then, a house elf popped into view carrying a tray in his hands. On the tray was a clearly successful, if only in looks, pizza. “Krimpkis has made Professor Evans’ pigzah for her. Krimpkis is hoping that he got it right.”

“Oh, thank you Krimpkis! This looks perfectly wonderful! Thank you so much for making this for me.”

Krimpkis put the tray down on the table and then, with a crack, disapparated back to the kitchens.

Snape leaned forward and smelled the pizza. “It smells wonderful. You must have helped greatly. The attempt I got was ... well, more akin to a pasty than a pizza. They put gravy on it. It ... was awful,” he said with a soft chuckle.

“I cheated and purchased the store bought sauce, but house elves are much smarter than anyone gives them credit for, I’m afraid. Once you show them, they learn, and if you’re cruel to them, they remember. If you’re good to them, you won’t find a more loyal friend.”

Snape thought back to Dobby, the house elf who had nearly brutalized Harry by attempting to save him and who had, ultimately, given his life to save the wizard who’d treated him, not as a servant, but an equal. “I have recently taken a very young house elf into my employ. He’s quite eagre to please. I’d never saw the need for one, but now, in light of my more frequent use of my house, and upon finding it broken into and ransacked today, I felt it prudent to hire one. He’s really a sweet thing.”

Snape took his wand and cast an incantation that sliced the pizza as cleanly as a knife, then levitated a slice to Amelia’s plate and one to his own.

“Well, here goes nothing,” said Amelia as she lifted the slice to her mouth and took a bite. Snape followed suit and their eyes met as the pizza hit their tongues.

“Oh my gosh,” Amelia said around crust and cheese.

“I know,” Snape said after he’d cleared his mouth.

“Those elves did a fantastic job! This is almost perfect!”

Amelia demolished the first piece and was soon working on her second. Snape was a little more reserved, but primarily because he only owned his current and the new suit which Harry had demanded he get and didn’t wish to drop any grease on his coat. “Ugh, you must think me without any manners at all,” she said, wiping her mouth on a napkin.

“On the contrary. I’m finding your enthusiasm for muggle fare enchanting.”

In the shimmering candlelight, Amelia watched the flickers dance across his aquiline features and felt her heart skip a beat. “Severus ... you look very nice this evening.”

He looked at her, his head tilted ever so slightly to one side.

“Not to mean you don’t always look nice,” she added hastily. “I just mean ... you look more together than you normally do.”

“I washed my hair ... three times. It’s always oily ... I didn’t want to appear as if I don’t care about my appearance.”

“Your hair doesn’t look bad normally. At least, I don’t think it does.”

He turned the talk to other things. “So, this muggle school you taught at ... what was it like?”

“Many of the children come from broken homes and barely have the everyday essentials. My wizarding wealth is substantial, but for a time, we didn’t have all that much money when I was attending Ilvermorny. I remembered living in Cokeworth, and how dilapidated some of the neighbourhoods were. There was a playground there where my cousin and her sister played when they were younger. I didn’t much like my older cousin. She wasn’t very pleasant. I think she was jealous that her sister had magic and she didn’t. It could just as easily have been her, but I don’t think she would have made as nice a witch as my cousin did.

“It was easy for me to spot a child coming up who might have magical abilities. I encountered sixteen No-maj born while I worked there and had a talk with their parents when parent-teacher conferences were held. Americans are more resistant to the thought of true magic than our European contemporaries. It’s no wonder, with the Salem witch trials and so much hatred on the thought of a witch – perpetuated, no doubt, by books and movies. Those sixteen students are in Ilvermorny now, and I hear, are doing exceedingly well in their studies. One of the littlest ones, bless him, is a metamorphmagus. I enjoyed being around the No-majs because the very simplest of tricks – muggle tricks – could entertain them and give them incentive to do their very best work.”

“I’m sure they were better for knowing your kindness, Amelia.”

“Why not share kindness with all whom you encounter? What does it cost but a moment of time, and for we in the wizarding world, there is a little more of it than out there.” She looked at Snape, watching his eyes and lips. “Unless a deranged psychopathic dark wizard sets his mind on something,” she added softly.

“Amelia ... might I take you someplace? It’s a spot I used to visit when I was a student here.”

“Of course, Severus. I’d enjoy that.”

He rose from his seat, then pulled her chair out for her, helping her to stand. “Follow me.”

They exited the Room of Requirement, leaving the dishes there for the house elves to fetch and exited into the highest floor, for which Snape was grateful. He led her down the hallway to an older section of the castle that was not currently in use. He opened the door and led her up a winding staircase to a topmost turreted tower. The room above was beautifully appointed, bearing all the house colors and ancient pennants from each, complete with tapestry crests.

“I found this room when I was in my third year here. I had been particularly upset that day and found myself wandering the halls without aim until I found this room. It was here that I worked and practiced spells of my own invention, hoping to win friendship or at least respect of my peers. I was so excited, but nobody even realized it was my work when they used them. They couldn’t believe that I was capable of creating such spells. But here, this was my little sanctum. I brought my friend here and we would practise our lessons, read and do homework, but by the time our fifth year started, I had begun to make disastrous choices and in time, she ended her friendship with me. I do not blame her. I was misguided and my mistakes would plague me until the Dark Lord’s defeat.”

“Have you learned from your mistakes, Severus?”

“I have. I’ve learned and grown.”

Amelia gazed around the room, her eyes bright and sparkling. She took her wand and summoned a wooden box. With a flick of her wand, the box began to play a fetching waltz that Snape had never heard before. “Do you dance?”

“Me? Dance? I ... I have never had a cause for dancing. I do not know how.”

She drew near to him, putting her right hand in his left and guiding his right hand to her waist. “I believe you will be a natural. I’ve watched you. Your grace is undeniable.”

“And if I trod heavily upon your toes, will you call me so graceful?”

“Absolutely.”

“Very well, Miss Evans. If you are willing to be trod upon, then I am willing to try.”

He took the lead, remembering the steps from the Yule ball when Hogwarts had hosted the Tri-Wizard tournament. His steps were more timid at first, but as he moved and didn’t stomp her toes into a bloody mess, his confidence grew until he was truly leading her in the waltz. Amelia didn’t take her eyes off of him, watching the pleasure in his eyes increase as his poise increased. They danced around the room until at last, the enchanted music box’s tune came to an end. Amelia beamed at him, her mouth wide in a smile.

“You are a phenomenal dancer, Professor Snape. I am sure if the female students knew of your skill, they’d be sighing dreamily about you.”

Snape snorted. “I highly doubt that, but your kindness is endearing.”

He took her hand and led her out onto an iron wrought balcony overlooking the grounds. The night air was still cool from the nearby mountains and she shivered. Without thinking, Snape drew off his coat and draped it over her shoulders. Her large verdant eyes met his black ones in the dazzling moonlight. “Severus,” she breathed softly.

“You’re cold. I should have thought to have you bring your cloak. It was thoughtless of me.”

She tucked up against him, achingly reminding him of Lily, and how she had once done the same to him when they were young. She felt how rigid he seemed, so she carefully slid her arm around him. “You are kind to me, Severus. You have made me feel so welcomed and wanted here. It’s difficult being a stranger in a land you barely remember, without friend or family to care about you.”

He placed his hand on her shoulder, drawing her nearer in a familiar manner. “What about your cousin’s sister. She’s your family. Surely she’d—”

“No. She had been cruel in her jealousy, calling the students gathered on Platform 9 ¾ nothing more than a bunch of weirdo freaks.”

Snape remembered Lily’s sister calling him an awful boy and calling her a freak. The memory clenched deep within him. “I imagine it must be hard in families with siblings who don’t have the same abilities. As much as a wizarding family having a squib child.”

“Yes, I think it would be.”

Snape subconsciously pulled her against him, not even realizing what he’d done. “You are unlike any person I’ve met. You are very nearly an antithesis of any Slytherin I’ve met, yet you are open, warm and welcoming. Especially to me.”

“You’re a fascinating man, Severus, and you are a man, same as any other. I’m sure you’ve learned to bottle your emotions and tamp them down into virtual non-being, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel. I am sure you have felt fear and agony and hatred, but have kept those emotions to yourself so as not to tip your hand or cause those emotions to manifest in those around you.” She breathed in deeply. “By Merlin’s Pants, you smell delightful.”

“D-Delightful?”

“I know what amortentia would smell like to me. Parchment, wood smoke, herbs, wintergreen.”

Snape, for once, was at a loss for words. He knew she meant his own scent but didn’t know how to respond. She seemed to understand and tucked a bit tighter against him, staring up at the billions of stars. “This is a lovely evening, Severus. The most pleasant evening I’ve had in many years.”

“I-I have enjoyed it as well,” he countered, finally finding words. “Forgive my rudeness ... I did not mean to ignore your comment. The simple kindness of it left me stupefied for a time. I am unused to compliments.”

“I shall, then, endeavour to give you at least one wholly truthful compliment a day.”

Snape gazed down at her, pressing his cheek against her head, his voice carrying softly to her. “I never put much stock in silliness, but I daresay the thought of it is growing upon me.”

“Good.”

They stood out on the balcony for a while, just enjoying the company of the other. It felt good to Snape to have someone beside him, and better to have her close and enjoying it as much as he did. Part of him felt guilty for it, but Lily was dead ... gone ... as surely as Voldemort was, and would she not wish him to find some measure of happiness? He absently stroked a lock of chestnut hair, catching himself a minute or two later and stopping.

“I’m happy I came here,” Amelia murmured beside him. “I was lucky to go to school at Ilvermorny, but England’s much more to my liking.”

He felt he should call an end to the evening, that it was getting quite late and that he should not overstay his visit with her, but somehow, he couldn’t seem to pull himself away from her. “You wouldn’t have liked it months ago. It was a terrible time. Everyone was scared, children were being kidnapped, people were being killed ... it was a dark time for us. Even here, I while headmaster, I tried to protect the students as well as I could, but that didn’t stop the brutality. I couldn’t do as much as I’d have liked because my delicate position might have been compromised. As it was, the Dark Lord attempted to and nearly succeeded in murdering me because he thought I was the master of the Elder Wand.”

“Elder Wand? As the Elder Wand? One of the Deathly Hallows? That wand?”

“Yes. It was supposed to come to me as Albus Dumbledore had planned his death so as nobody was defeated, but the Dark Lord upset those plans.”

“What happened to the wand?”

“Harry destroyed it. He felt enough people had died from it that it was just too terrible a temptation. I recovered the pieces and placed them in Dumbledore’s tomb with him. He believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself. I nearly laugh when I think on how adamant Dumbledore was in his trust of me, even when others were sure I was evil.”

Snape felt her squeeze him a little. “Not evil, clearly, after such sacrifice and dedication to a man who died and a boy who learned to dislike you. And after he learned who you really were, did he not become a friend?”

“More than a friend,” Snape replied softly. “Much more than a friend. He considers me – me – family.”

She disengaged from him, and turned so she was facing him. “From despising you and thinking you a murderer to caring for you as family shows that he has seen who you truly are, Severus. He’s one of the lucky few who you’ve let in and can know who you are. I’m fortunate, I think, to be included in that lucky few.”

Snape gazed down at her, his black eyes nearly imperceptible in the darkness. “I dare to admit I find a sense of ease around you, Amelia. It’s as if you are a ghost and my impervious walls mean nothing to you.” He turned to face the moon, which was high on the horizon. “It’s late. I should return you to your wing and let you get some rest.”

“Only if you promise we can spend more time together, Severus. This has been the most wonderful evening.”

“I had a wonderful time myself, Amelia. You are an extraordinary woman and, I think, an extraordinary friend.”

She smiled up at him, her green eyes clear in the moonlight. “I am grateful for your friendship.”

He placed a kiss upon her hand, then guided her back into the tower room. “And I am grateful for yours,” he said softly.

She stopped and glanced up at him. “I am simply amazed that nobody snatched you up. You are absolutely everything that an Englishman wizard should be.”

A sound escaped him that made Amelia jump. “You would not have liked me in years prior. There was nothing even remotely about what an English wizard should be in me. I was not a pleasant man. I was an impatient and bitter, cruel bully who never missed an opportunity to lash out at ... at the son of a man whom I had been bullied by when I was a student here. I suppose, in a way, Severus Snape did die down in the boatshed on May second. The man that was revived on May third was a much different man ... a better man.”

A flash of memory or dream assaulted him as he gazed into her eyes. It’s not your time. Your place is not here, Severus. Your place is there. He needs you. She needs you.

There is nothing for me there. I am hated, reviled, despised. Death is my only respite.

Severus ... I’m sorry ... I’m so, so sorry ... please, you need to stay there. He needs you. She needs you. They all need you.

Lily ... made her choice ... and I ... made mine, James.

Severus ... your sacrifice ... won’t go unrewarded. Stay where you belong, among the living. Please, believe ....

“Severus? Are you all right? What’s wrong?”

He stumbled to a bench in the room, his flesh deathly pallid, his dark eyes haunted. “Do you believe the dead can speak to the living? The dead who choose not to be ghosts?”

Amelia sat beside him, clutching his cold hands to her chest. “Yes, of course I do. What is it? Will you tell me?”

His eyes bored into hers. “As I lie dying in the boatshed, I heard a voice. A voice I knew well and had hated with all of my being. But as that voice spoke to me, the anger just drained away. It was James Potter, telling me that I couldn’t die. I was needed here. That he needed me. And that she needed me. That my sacrifice would not go unnoticed. He ... must have known that Harry would need someone ... someone with a tie to him, however unpleasant. A protector ... a father figure ... though why me, I will never know.”

Amelia cupped his cheek with her hand. “Oh, I think you do know why, Severus. Despite your enmity with his father, you risked your life on a daily basis to protect Harry. I’m fortunate you did stay around, else I would never have met you.”

Snape raised his hand to cover hers on his cheek, then gently grasped it and held it. “I am the fortunate one.” He rose from the bench, his pallor returned to its normal paleness. “Do forgive me, Amelia. I’ve stolen far too much of your evening as it is.”

“What is given freely cannot be stolen, Severus. But I cannot allow myself to become selfish and steal your time away either.”

They walked together down the staircase and out into the hallway. They talked on school related topics on the way back to the Slytherin entrance. Once there, Snape held back away from the door. “Here is where I must bid you good night, Amelia. I am unsure of my welcome in Slytherin areas.”

“I understand,” she responded with a shy smile. “I’m sure I’ll be sorting things out for several months before I’m settled in. I had a wonderful time tonight, Severus, and I’m looking forward to another evening with you.”

She moved close to him, watching for students, but none were out of bed, so she stood on tiptoe to kiss him lightly on the cheek. “Until tomorrow,” she said sweetly.

“Until tomorrow.”

“Oh! Your coat! I nearly forgot.”

“My thanks. I do have another one, but it’s freshly made and needs laundering.

Snape gave her a stiff bow, then turned on his toes and covered ground rapidly until he was back at the Gryffindor common room. He spotted Harry sitting on the sofa, waiting up for him.

“What are you doing strutting about the corridors at night, Professor Snape?” Harry asked in his best impersonation of him.

“I don’t strut,” he replied haughtily. “How was your evening with Ginny?”

“Ah, she cut out early to study. She wants to get an Outstanding in all her classes. Ron and I played a game of wizard’s chess and tried to get Hermione to play, but she’s still not interested in it. How was your evening?”

“Let’s go to my apartment, if you don’t mind.”

Harry nodded, rising to his feet and following Snape to the apartment. Once inside, he drew off his coat and cleaned it, then hung it on a peg. “I am doomed, Harry,” he said quietly.

“Doomed? How so?”

He turned away from Harry, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve. “She is a most charming, vivacious woman ... and the last charming, vivacious woman I met, I fell in love with and lost ... I have loved only your mother for so long that it feels like a betrayal to feel these emotions beginning to creep up like plants after a long, harsh, bitter winter.”

“Mum would want you to be happy, Severus. I know that. I can tell you like Miss Evans. You should definitely get to know her better.”

Snape turned at met Harry’s level gaze. “I’m ... frightened. You know how disastrous my relationship with your mother ended ... I’m scared to ruin this too.”

“You’ve changed. You’re a different man – a better man – than you were when that happened. Seven years you protected me. More than seven years. You left the Death Eaters to try and save my mum first, but then me and my dad as well. The past is over. You’ve learned from it. You’ve given me a home, nearly gave your life for me. I wish I hadn’t broken the Elder Wand. You were meant to have it from the start. It was Dumbledore’s plan.”

“You returned my wand to me, Harry. Plans can fail or need revision. It’s better that the death stick is gone. You were the master of death but didn’t even want to be, and that’s why you succeeded. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the reason Dumbledore put on that ring was on the off chance that he might see his family once more.” He sighed heavily. “I once stood before the Mirror of Eresid. I was there for hours. Only when Dumbledore missed me did I break my gaze from it.”

“I know you saw my memories of that, seeing my parents beside me. What did you see, Severus?”

He looked reluctant to say more and Harry didn’t pressure him, but finally after several minutes, Snape spoke. “It was a scene not much different from what you saw, but I was the father, Lily was my wife, and we had our own child. It was selfish and childish. I wish I’d never overheard that damned prophecy. Only one of two prophecies that Trelawney got right over the course of her tenure.”

“What was the other one, if you know, sir?”

“She said that thirteen would dine and that the first to get up would be the first to die. When you were moved from Privet Drive to the Burrow, the dinner following had thirteen people. Lupin was the first to rise ... and he was the first to die at he Battle of Hogwarts of those thirteen. They would have been better to protect you.”

“Severus Snape, you were stern, sarcastic, smug, biting, calloused and condescending ... but you were always ready to jump in and protect your charges. You jumped in front of Lupin after he turned into a werewolf, and you carried Ron back to the castle. You weren’t the nicest teacher, but you were truly the one who was looking out for us.”

Snape scoffed. “Dumbledore said there were many lessons to learn while here, and dealing with unpleasant people was one of them. That’s why he never called attention to my behaviour. In retrospect, he probably should have. I gave McClaggen a month’s detention for vomiting on my shoes.”

“And in doing so, made Hermione very happy.”

“Oh?”

Harry grinned. “Yes. He was being far too enthusiastic in trying to get Hermione to like him.”

“Well then, I suppose it was for the best, and at the very least, it was keeping in character.”

“Knowing the whole story now as I do, looking back, everything you did made perfect sense. You wanted Sirius drained of any joy because you thought he was responsible for betraying my parents and you wanted him to suffer as you had suffered. You thought Lupin had stood back and done the same thing when Dad and Sirius had tortured you.”

“While it may explain it, Harry, it neither condones nor excuses it. Even when others had told me you had the kindest nature of your mother, I refused to believe it ... refused to see it. Even from the grave, I felt your father was taunting me. Well, I refuse to be taunted any longer. The old Severus died on the second of May. The hatred, the bitterness, the suffocating agony ... it was gone. I was dying, and your kindness let everything dissipate, like fog in the light of the sun.”

“You deserve some happiness, and love too, and I hope you find it with Miss Evans. She already seems to like you quite a bit.”

“She is very much like your mother. She sees the good in people. I made your mother cross with me on occasion, but she still cared for me and forgave me, but my use of that word cut her to the core.”

“I saw in your memory how you told Phineas Nigellus Black never to use the word mudblood again. Hermione came to eventually see it as a badge of honor.”

Harry looked at the timepiece on the mantel. “I’d better go. I’m going to help Ginny study tomorrow. It’s kind of weird that we’ll be in the same classes next year because of me skipping this school year for obvious reasons.”

“Yes, but that will give you another year of Quiddich with her and Ron, and the four of you can go to Hogsmeade on weekends. That reminds me ... sometime, would you mind setting up a meeting between George and myself?”

Harry stared at Snape as if he’d misheard. “A meeting between you and George? George Weasley?”

“Yes. I need to face him, and ask for his forgiveness, and there’s another matter I would like to discuss with him.”

“All right. I’ll send Aggie off with a letter tomorrow. I can’t guarantee he’ll come, but if I ask him to, he probably will.”

“Thank you, Harry. You’re a good man.”

“You are too, Severus ... now that you can be.”

Harry waved and left the room, leaving Snape to his own thoughts. As he undressed, he felt a myriad of emotions. He had danced for the first time in his life and hadn’t smashed Amelia’s toes into bloody pulp. He no longer tamped down every single emotion every single time. If given the opportunity to love again, he’d grasp it with both hands and hold on tight.

He heard a distinct CRACK and turned to see the butterball of a house elf sitting on his bed, eyeing the stash of treats he’d brought back from Diagon Alley. “Excusing me, Master Snape, sir, but Master Asphodelus bade Mimsy bring you this letter.”

“Thank you, Mimsy. Please, have a sweet.”

Mimsy took one of the pastries and proceeded to eat it while Snape opened the letter and read it.

Severus,

I must own I am grateful for your reply. I have sent a messenger of whom I trust implicitly among the werewolves which I have found to be like your late friend Remus Lupin. If there is to be another battle – and I pray it will not come to that – you have their strength. They are loyal to the new minister and the new anti-discrimination laws being brought to the books. I bring you word that while their numbers are growing stronger, many have learnt their lessons and are staying as far away from the propaganda as possible, so their numbers are not nearly what I feared. Paleeyes is the one who is in charge, turned by Greyback himself and considered loyal to that cause, though not nearly as bright as his maker. I have heard of your exceptional skills as a potioneer and would beg that you begin readying Wolfsbane potion so we might have a stock of it. I do not wish to barter any risk against the non-bitten. Word is it they have been heading north, into the wilds of both England and Scotland, and have sent out proxies to Wales and Ireland. I doubt their ranks will swell more than a hundred or two, but it’s best to be on guard and take every possible precaution. Some of my followers run in your area, but it’s greatly possible that Paleeyes might have some of his soldiers in the immediate vicinity. I would not alarm you unnecessarily, but one of my pack was found murdered, and I wish you to be on your guard, and pass this information on to any whom you hold dear. I also believe two of your familiars, Avery and Mulciber are headed north with them. These are not men who run with Paleeyes; they are animals. There is safety in numbers. I will be headed north, and I will send Mimsy with a note so that we may meet and plan our course of action.

Fond regards,

Asphodelus Gruenwald

Snape read the letter again, to be sure he had everything correct. “It seems another war is on the horizon, or at the very least, a battle. You may have another treat, Mimsy. Please wait here while I attend to another matter. When I return, I’ll pen a letter for your master.”

“Mimsy thanks you, Master Snape. Has such a fondness of sweets, Mimsy does. Master Asphodelus doesn’t minds none that Mimsy is rounder than normal house elves.”

“Nor do I, Mimsy. I will try to hurry.”

Snape gathered his cloak, then made his way down to the Headmaster’s office. He spoke the password softly, then climbed the stairs into the office. Dumbledore was snoozing in his portrait. Snape was so quiet that he startled Dumbledore.

“Severus? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry to bother you at this hour, Albus, but I need to ask you some questions. It seems there are some former followers of the Dark Lord who are unhappy that I am breathing.”

“Do you know who?”

“A werewolf known as Paleeyes, one of Greyback’s pack. I’ve had word from another werewolf that Lupin had contacted that Paleeyes is gathering a force.”

Dumbledore shook his head. “I was hoping for a bit of peace for you, Severus.”

“As was I, but at least this time, I’m not alone. Which brings me to ask, do you know of a man named Asphodelus Gruenwald?”

“Yes, yes, I have. It’s been ... well, quite a few years, to say the least. He was a student here around the time that Tom Riddle was, and though not as flashy as Tom, he had a steadiness about him and a good heart. He was a Ravenclaw. A bit of a dreamer, but a good boy. Quiet and studious, much like you, but fancied defensive charms. Is he the one who has contacted you?”

“Yes. He spins a good yarn and has a very loyal house elf, but I didn’t know how far I should trust him.”

“He never gave me any reason to doubt him. He was earnest and hard-working. I know some time after he left Hogwarts, he was bitten by a werewolf, but never once put himself in position to harm another.”

“Then I will give him my trust. Thank you, Albus.”

“Severus, you are the one who deserves the most thanks.”

Snape shook his head. “You had it all planned out, to the very last. And it almost went off without a hitch. Thank you.”

Snape left the headmaster’s office and returned to his apartment in Gryffindor Tower. Once inside, he addressed the house elf. “Give me a few minutes to pen this letter and then you may be off.”

“Thanks you, Mimsy does, Master Snape.”

Snape took out a bit of parchment and sat down at his desk, quill in hand.

Asphodelus,

I was surprised to hear word from you again so soon, but I thank you for the advance warning. I will have the Wolfsbane potion ready in time should any battle ensue. While I do not have the numbers which this Paleeyes may have, my retinue of newfound friends and family are quite formidable. I will inform those close to me to be on their guard and look for anything suspicious. If any of your pack are in need of assistance, it can be had at the Hog’s Head Inn, in Hogsmeade. Let the proprietor know that you are a friend of the Order and help will be given. Forgive me for having made inquiry to your background. I cannot be too cautious, you understand. You have a name known to the former headmaster at Hogwarts and his words were kind. It is good to know that friends might be had in unexpected places.

I remain grateful,

Severus Snape

Snape sealed the letter with wax, then handed it to Mimsy. “There you go, and thank you for your patience, Mimsy.”

“Mimsy’s pleasure, sir.” And with a CRACK, the house elf disapparated.

Pacing across his apartment, Snape’s stomach knotted with the knowledge. Avery and Mulciber ... two names which he had hoped never to hear again. It was their budding malice which swept him away from Lily’s acceptance and made her turn from him forever. Snape knew they would come looking for him, and he knew that they would never allow him to live. Deep down, he knew a duel with either would end in death. He was determined that it not be his own. His wounds had weakened him, dulled his reflexes and Snape knew he’d have to hone his skills once more. Harry would help, he knew, as would the others, and though he was loathe to use them as opponents, he knew he must. Neither Avery nor Mulciber were exceptional duelists, but they would be merciless in their attacks and Snape knew he must be ready for the inevitable. With summer break coming, they could practice until Snape was in top dueling form once more. He had underestimated an opponent once. Snape would not make that same mistake again.